when i visit my blog again after a few days away i smile at it, fondly, as i do at my children when they return from some adventure. i like to see if it still looks pleasing to me and if i like the stories i have told.
lately i have been reading some different ideas about parenting, schooling, growing children. i have strong ideas about what children need. i knew the life i wanted to create in my own home before i had any children of my own, and my standards are high. i expect a lot from myself as a mother, and knowing what i want has helped me to get through difficult phases. i feel a desire to compile my thoughts.
1. home is where children learn about life. i knew very early on that i would home educate. it was an easy choice for me. learning is so much more important to me than 'schooling' and i had such a difficult time in school (for various reasons) i didn't want my children to suffer the way i did. there lies a hairy post, one that will not be written today.
2. babies don't need a lot of stuff. i never did believe in all the marketing to children (and susceptible parents) that i think has really grown through the last 10 years. the difference in just shopping for a car seat for my oldest and my baby was like a whole different world. i always felt that if you have blankets, diapers, and food, that's all you need. though partially driven by our need to spend as little as possible, i found that when i allowed myself to use mommy stand-ins like a swing or pacifier, it was too easy to detach from my child and be a little less connected. i am happier when i sense and respond, like a conversation, with my baby. however, there does come a time when the siren call of lightning mcqueen cannot be ignored. everything in moderation.
3. t.v. is not the bad guy. it's just an acquaintance that we carefully screen. we have movie night every friday. we watch nature shows and fun educational shows. we even watch pbs kids. but not every week. over the short life of our free cable, luxurious cable, we liked to watch a little barefoot contessa. however, the tv is usually not on in the daytime. what a waste for their little minds to be dumbly staring. there is not enough time in the day as it is to do all the things we want to do.
4. books are essential. appended to #2, above. imperative! indispensable! vital! the thrift store is my best friend. i can count on my fingers and toes the times i have bought a book in the bookstore in the last 10 years. (i don't really use my toes to count). we have bookshelves in nearly every room, bursting with my buddies, those 1950's detective books, 1960's nursery books, 1970's fairy tales. it's hard to find new books as visually pleasing. it was easy to get my oldest 3 started reading ( now i can't get them to stop) and boy #2 is telling us all how he's learning to read today.
5. kids need nature. we need to point out the beauty that we see, even in our small suburban lot. they need to dig in the dirt and build forts and build rock towers. interacting with the natural world every day is really primary in teaching children about God, and finding joy in their lives as they grow.
6. the less scheduling, the better. routine is important, but running around to different activities is numbing. they, and i, need time to really explore the possibilities of our legos, sewing, baking and creating. as they grow this is harder and harder to provide, which makes me cling to it all the more.
7. no video games. someday will be the right time. but until that day, the closest gaming technology comes to my kids on a regular basis is our 20 questions ball.
8. creating things with your own hands is important. playdoh, sewing, painting and lots of glue, flour and eggs, papers and crayons are a part of everyday life here. and so are giant messes. but if you can't do it when you're young, when can you?
i suppose i should call this post 'my parenting manifesto'. i wonder what the litigator would add. he is just as opinionated as i am.
