i haven't wanted to write in a while. it's almost too easy to write but restraint is called for.
one of my dearest friends passed away 2 weeks ago. it's strange to write that even now. i know it's a common feeling but i keep thinking of things i need to talk to her about, or do together. it's been hard to plan and move forward through the days because every piece of my life included her. as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, i know for a certainty that she is where she is supposed to be. that her plan was different than mine. that my Heavenly Father loves her, loves her family, and loves me and the eternal perspective is different than mine. 
but oh, that does not take away the empty space in my life that she filled. it does not provide the common sense advice and enthusiasm for new projects and kindness to me and my family that she has supplied for years and years. i do feel comforted about the things that are earthly. i know things here on earth will be alright and her family will be blessed.  but my soul longs for hers and there is silence for me now. i know this is part of our earthly life and i'm glad to miss her so much. but i grieve for myself and for her family because we have to go on without her.

that's kendra on the right holding her youngest a few years ago